What It Means To Be Human

What does it mean to be human? Someone once told me it's bad to start a paper by asking a question, but since this isn't really a paper it's a blog post.. and since I don't really care.. it's fine. I start by asking a question because I want to make my readers think, reading and writing is a journey and I hope to get you started. I ask this question because there is no answer. At least there is not a definite right answer. SO, what do we think? I want you to dig deep. It's not that we all have skin and two eyes and two legs and a heart. No. What does it really mean to be human! To feel, to breathe, to think! I don't have all the answers for you. But we can start that journey together, with the help of Carl Rogers and his theory, the Humanistic approach.
To start, I will introduce some terms that we may not be familiar with. 

• Unconditional Positive Regard- Having an attitude of total acceptance towards another person

•  Potential Growth: there are 3 ingredients in fostering potential growth: 1. Genuineness- being open with your feelings 2. Acceptance- having an attitude of grace towards others 3.  Empathy- sharing and mirroring feelings. 

• Self-concept- All of your thoughts and feelings towards yourself. 

• Self Actualization- when a person's “ideal self” (i.e. who they would like to be) is congruent with their actual behavior (self-image).

The idea of his theory is to create a relationship with a client that allows for these things to happen. Rogers realized psychology and psychologists started getting so focused on the techniques and the diagnosis of their clients, that they forgot all about the relationship, which is the most important part. In a relationship where there is unconditional positive regard a person feels safe to be themselves. When we as humans practice unconditional positive regard with our fellow humans we are helping them gain self-confidence and self-respect we are also teaching each other to trust (2008).  This is not just a therapy approach though. It is a beautiful way of embracing our role as human beings. We are here to learn and grow and love one another, to form connections, and help people identify their worth while identifying our own. That is what potential growth is, it teaches us to be genuine, to be real, to notice how we feel and to be open with emotions. It is then our job to accept other people and their feelings.  We can relate, to choose to be empathetic. When another human is feeling sad or glad or frustrated we can dig deep into our own personal journey and learn to emapathize and understand them.  I'm going to include a video about empathy, this is not Rogers work but in my opinion him and Brene Brown both teach and believe in a humanistic approach.

This is what empathy is.

As we move through life we create beliefs about ourselves and these beliefs impact our feelings. This is identified as our self-concept. A mixture of how we are and how we would like to be. When these are not congruent we are unhappy, and our behaviors will show that. We often wish we had the money to afford certain things or we wish we had the ability to run really fast and when these things aren't happening in our lives we become upset. A hypothetical situation, there's a women and all she wants is to be a mother ,but she is unable to have children-- this would create a great deal of sorrow in her life.  If her husband is very supportive and empathizes with her, this can help her thoughts and feelings about herself become positive again.  This will hopefully lead her to change her belief of how things "should be" and be able to accept them as they are. I believe that is the key to self-actualization! We often blame and are mean to ourselves. It is also important for us to be able to practice unconditional positive regard with ourselves, having an attitude of total acceptance and love for ourselves.
If we do our best to believe that every human is here, doing the best that they can, we can learn to love, accept, and help one another. I think what it means to be human is to connect, feel, and love. This is how we heal and fulfill our purpose.

References:

SimplyPsychology

Schimmel, N. (2008). A humanistic approach to caring for street children: The importance of emotionally intimate and supportive relationships for the successful rehabilitation of street children. Vulnerable Children & Youth Studies, 3(3), 214-220. doi:10.1080/17450120802032883

Heppner, P. P., Rogers, M. E., & Lee, L. A. (1984). Carl Rogers: Reflections on his Life. Journal Of Counseling & Development, 63(1), 14.